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Kimberly Cardeccia

working harder won't fix what needs steadiness

Published about 1 month ago • 1 min read

Hello my friend,

I was remembering a time I worked with Couples Therapy when he was having a hard time settling.

His attention kept traveling out to his herd. His body was busy. He had a lot to hold.

I know how easy it is in a moment like that to feel the pull to do more.

Ask for more. Move the feet more. Be clearer. Be firmer. Find the thing that will finally get the horse through it.

But that was not what he needed from me that day.

He needed rhythm. Time. A quieter conversation.

So we walked.

Not because I had given up on direction. Not because there was nothing to teach. But because I could see he could not yet receive more.

The next day, he came into the arena softer. More settled. More available.

I do not mean that one quiet walk fixed everything.

And I do not mean the answer is always to do less.

Sometimes our horses need a boundary. Sometimes they need help building a skill. Sometimes they need a clear, kind invitation forward.

But working harder will not fix what needs steadiness.

When we are worried, uncertain, or afraid we are getting it wrong, it can be hard to tell the difference. We may keep adding effort to a moment that is already asking for something else.

Sometimes the most helpful question is not:

How do I get my horse to follow my direction?

It is:

What would help my horse be able to receive my direction right now?

That question does not make us passive. It asks us to become more present.

To notice what is actually happening. To let the horse’s response give us information. And then to choose the next invitation from there.

That is the kind of leadership I will be teaching inside my upcoming two-day live Zoom workshop, Becoming the Leader Your Horse Can Trust.

We will look at how to recognize when pressure, self-doubt, or the urge to prove ourselves starts leading the interaction—and how to find a steadier way forward with the horse in front of us.

August 25 + 26 at 7 PM Eastern

Replay included · $11

​Read the details and save your spot here​

Wishing you many bright moments,

Kim

If you would like some support with developing your skill of pause, reply to this email. The horses, donkeys and I would love to help!

4821 Hayner Rd, Fowlerville MI 48836
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Kimberly Cardeccia

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