Hello, my friend!

There are moments with horses when the plan makes complete sense.

You have a horse who is usually well schooled. You have an idea that feels reasonable. Maybe the day feels a little unsettled, and you think a familiar bit of movement might help everyone find their footing again.

And then your horse tells you: not today.

That happened with Vance recently.

The farm has had a lot of change in it. Trio is gone. Couples Therapy was adopted. Insta is away in training. Vance had been calling and seemed to be having a hard time with the shift in the herd.

I thought some lunging might help him regulate. It was a reasonable plan. But when I asked, it became clear pretty quickly that he could not receive that request that day.

There is a version of that moment where I could have made it mean something.

Maybe I chose the wrong plan.

Maybe he was being difficult.

Maybe I needed to insist.

Maybe I was failing him by not following through.

But none of that was actually the most useful question.

The useful question was: What is he showing me right now?

So we changed course.

We walked around the arena together instead. As we walked, he began to lower his head. He licked and chewed. His body had a chance to settle.

That did not make the original plan bad. It did not make Vance wrong. And it did not make me a failure for changing my mind.

It was simply information.

I think this is one of the places horse people can get tangled up—especially when we care deeply and want to do right by our horses. A horse’s hesitation, brace, rush, shutdown, or no can suddenly feel like a grade on us.

Am I asking too much?

Am I not asking enough?

Should I get clearer, wait, redirect, or stop?

But your horse’s response is not a grade.

It is information you can use to stay in conversation.

That does not mean we never ask anything of our horses. It does not mean we abandon clarity or ignore safety. It means we learn to notice when the plan in our head is no longer the plan the horse in front of us can receive.

And then we find the next clear step.

That is the kind of leadership I want to help more horse owners practice: not becoming harder, not disappearing into uncertainty, but becoming steady enough to listen, think, and respond.

Later this month, I’m teaching a small two-day live Zoom workshop called Becoming the Leader Your Horse Can Trust.

We’ll look at these hard moments—when your horse says no, braces, rushes, gets worried, or when your own confidence starts to wobble—and practice how to find your way back to clarity without adding more pressure.

August 25 + 26 at 7 PM Eastern

Replay included

$11

If this feels like a doorway you’d like to step through, you can read the details and save your spot here:

​https://leader-your-horse-can-trust.carrd.co/

Wishing you many bright moments in the week ahead,

Kim

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If you would like some support with developing your skill of pause, reply to this email. The horses, donkeys and I would love to help!