Hello, my friend,

There’s a common misunderstanding about awareness.

We think it means watching more closely.

Monitoring more carefully.

Trying harder to notice every little thing.

But horses don’t relax when we think harder.

They relax when we settle.

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Honey taught me that.

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She came to me very young — diagnosed with PSSM and already tying up. I’ll never know exactly how much was physical and how much was the after-effect of being pushed too early. She was futurity-eligible at two.

But what I do know is this:

On the ground and in the field, Honey is playful. Curious. Engaging. A little goofy — more like a gelding than a mare in her joy for interaction.

But when things started to feel like “work,” she would freeze.

Not dramatic.

Not explosive.

Just… shut down.

At first, I tried to help her through it.

Encourage her forward.

Support her.

Motivate her.

Be more aware of what she needed.

But if I’m honest, there was pressure inside me.

Pressure to make progress.

Pressure to use the tools I knew.

Pressure to make it look like we were working through resistance in the “right” way.

Even when I was being gentle… I was still trying.

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And she could feel it.

The more I tried to manage the moment, the more she withdrew.

One time, it even ended in an unplanned dismount.

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It forced me to look at something uncomfortable:I thought awareness meant monitoring everything.

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But what Honey needed wasn’t more analysis.

She needed less internal pressure.

When I stopped trying to shape her progress into a certain picture…

When I released the expectation that fitness and improvement had to come through traditional formats…

When I let go of how it “should” look…

She softened.

And something else shifted too.

My body softened.

Awareness isn’t hyper-vigilance.

It isn’t scanning for problems.

It isn’t trying harder to get it right.

True awareness widens perception.

It makes room.

It removes agenda.

Trying harder to be aware often narrows us — and horses feel that narrowing immediately.

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But when we settle…

when we release the internal pressure to fix or perfect…

connection returns.

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The same is true outside the barn.

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How often do we think we need to analyze more in order to grow?

Monitor ourselves more closely?

Catch every thought?

Do it “better”?

What if awareness begins the moment you stop trying to monitor everything?

What if awareness is a state — not a strategy?

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This week, instead of thinking more, try softening.

Let your body widen.

Notice what changes.

With heart,

Kim

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If this resonates and you’re interested in easing into awareness, you’re welcome to reply to this email.

The horses, donkeys, and I would love to help!

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